Well, I know

Well, second camp had just over.

During this time, all of us need to write

our feelings,

some significant things happened on that day, and

pass it up to the teacher at the end of the day.

I wrote my feelings and things I wanted to present on my journal

and, from teacher's comment,

I can feel that its encouraging me to do better.

However, things that mentioned,

I'm already doing it most of the time, I'm not trying to be proud here.

They also mentioned, behind every success person,

there are sorrows which other people don't know.

I guess, I am facing some of it now.

The following camp,

not much focus on learning new things,

but to gain more experience.

I Will Be Myself

It has been for some time,

keeps on doing things that

I'm not so happy with it.

Just because they asked,

and I had to get through so many things.

Yes, I do learnt things, gained new experience from it,

but, I think I can learn it with some other happy ways.

Never mind,

from now on,

I won't keep doing things that people asked me to.

I will think before I take any action.

I will not keep on tolerating other people.

The one that will not care what other people thinking about me.

Yes, this is me, the real me.

The happier me..

End of the post.

Thx for readin'

Hav'a nice day.

At Home At last

At last,I'm home.

Just went for a training camp. I'm the assistant organiser of game session.

I take part in most of the activities.

Basically, my job is to

prepare stuffs for following lessons,

make sure things flowing according to schedule

and a little part of everything.

However, I still don't quite know why am I doing all of it.

Actually, I'm still not feeling that good, still not so happy at there.

Still feels lonely. Besides, I don't have a group. I'm a teacher already,

this made me even more lonely.

So far, I think the only reason

I'm going is just to test my ability on doing and managing things.

End of the post.

Thanks for reading.

Why am I doing all these?

Recently going to have a few camps during my holidays.

Its a voluntarily job, where I worked as a teacher at there.

And these few camps filled up most of my holiday.

At first, I'm doing all this, because I know for sure its a good thing, its a right thing to do.

However, I'm starting to doubt about it. Why am I keep doing all this.

My friends keep asking me, but I can't give them an good answer which can satisfy them, and I can't find a good point for me going there either,

other then its a good thing.

For quite a number of years I had been going to the camps organised by them.

Teacher at there are friendly, but some friends at there make me kinda disappointed.

I really don't know why some people still so selfish at there, likes looking down on people which are not so 'famous', such as me.

C'mon, I didn't owe you anything.

Maybe this year is the final year I'm going to these camp at there, because end of next year I will be having an important exam.

The following year, I don't even know where am I gonna be.

Now, I will do all my best for the following 5 camps.I will really work hard for it, and the end.

By me, thanks for reading,

have a nice day.

MR Lonely

I might be in a crowd,

I might be sitting by the table with bunch of friends,

but,

still feels loneliness.

I got no idea why this happened to me.

I had quite a lot of friends, but when hanging out with them,

I still feels lone. All of them sitting together,

while I always just sitting at aside, looking them laugh and chat.

It make me feel like I'm just a nobody that no one wanna to concern.

No one to depend on, no one to rely on.

Just doing almost all the thing by my own.

Thanks for reading,

has been in a negative mood for some time.

Relieved

Today was a tiring day, but i felt a little relieved.

Yesterday,

The research and development stuffs, my group members had divided the job quite well, and they had some progression.

So, they can do it without me for the moment. Just hope that, they don't always waiting, and procrastinating.

This afternoon,

And, about KRS, it was a safe and nice day today. We don't have time for KRS's session. Besides, we can leave all the KRS stuffs till next year. Yeah man...

Now,

Maybe I'm still thinking too much for the moment. I really need some rest, stay calm, and not thinking too much.

I'm Really Stressed

In charge of many things recently.

There are a lot of things need to be done.

Actually, many of it can be done by other people, but they just... somehow, like waiting me to do it, or plan it.

At the begining, I was able to get it all done.

Recently,

I'm really stressed. Having problems on getting on bed, seriously lack of quality time.

And, now...

I decided, to start letting go part of my works, let it done by others. Maybe things came out isn't that bad as i thought. Or perhaps, its my aim is too high. I wanted things to be done perfectly.

I feels lonely too. I felt that, I don't have someone to rely on.

Feels like I'm dealing with many tasks and prblems myself alone most of the time.

I need someone that can give me help when I needed it. Not those just saying one, I mean those really can give me help in a useful way.

Anyway, thanks for reading,

have a nice day.

Recently...

Just don't know why, recently keep thinking lots of things.

All of it coming to my mind non stop... Mostly about future. About career, and things I need to own.

Future is really kinda scary.

A few of my friends said that, I think too much. I know it too, but i just can't stop thinking. I felt that many people, mostly are my family members, are looking up at me. I really feel stress, and end up eating lots of chips and tib bits to let me stay focus on the thing I am doing.

Hopefully, I can get over this as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading.

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

Failing to plan,

is planning to fail.

Problems... ... To decide...

All of a sudden, feels like my schedule are so packed. So many things need to be done in so limited time.

Feels like many duties n jobs given to me in the same moment. Sometimes its hard to prioritize too. I think I should give up as part time tutor or give less tutor class, but, I need extra income. Further more, I'm the chairman of Teens Cadet Society now, I need to plan a list of things.

Really need to think about it wisely. I'm not afraid of facing difficulties, but I'm afraid that I will make a wrong decision. As one decisions will linked to another thing.

So, sometime really having problems on deciding things. Really which I could find someone that can help me to decide.

《静思语》

《静思语》

若能从物质的爱欲中跳脱出来，

心自然天广地阔，

无限丰饶。

I want it too...

Hi, finally i start writing post again.

This morning, i saw a girl, riding on a Kawasaki KLX ( with "P", which means she is still around my age too ). Wow! i wanted it too. i want a Kawasaki KRR. I'm really satisfy even just to have it in 250cc. But, my mom said that i need to fetch my sister. So, at least i need to wait till my sister got her driving license, then only i can get a bike like those. Which means, i still need to wait at least two years. On the other hand, the good thing is, i had a car now. Maybe it's is old, but it's still in a good condition.

Moral of the day

We can't get things that we want all the time. So, it's best we appreciate what we have now.

Thanks for reading. = )

I will try to update my blogmore frequent.

My Blog is dead...

Sorry everyone, will not printing blog until I had a laptop or netbook...

The feel just ain't right writing blog when people stalking beside....

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow...

Life's brief candle, by William Shakespeare

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Sometimes, I really like this poem, and it describes my current situation very well.

I tried to tell my boss, also my uncle, I will work for him for more weeks, and after that, I will take my results, and prepare stuffs about my future studies and all that. But, he said wait till I get my results first, before that, still continue to work for him. Aw... when only I can end all these? I'm really starting to feel sick of it. Now, I'm also starting to feel that my life is meaningless.

The more time I spend my time on this job, the more I feel that my family is very fake. Brothers and sisters of my dad are arguing with each other because of money. It still doesn't matters if you all wanna to argue about it, but can you all please don't drag me into it. I know non of your pass-time-stories, and I'm not interested on it. But one thing I'm very glad is that my dad didn't involved much in it.

Still very confused now... Don't know what to do is the best.

《静思语》

《静思语》

吃苦了苦，
苦尽甘来。
享福消福，
福尽悲来。

While Everyone are Counting Down Days to Chinese New Year, and I am...

Chinese New Year is coming sooner and sooner. Many of us is getting more excited everyday. Thinking of those 'angpau's we can get, fire cracker, gambling with groundnuts and so on.

While Everyone are Counting Down Days to Chinese New Year, and I am... Counting how many days left I need to work this month. I had marked down every day I worked for this month.

February 2010

(Monday as first day of the week )

Week 1 ( 1 - 7 Feb )--> Worked for 5 days.

Week 2 ( 8 - 14 Feb ) --> Worked for 2 days, 14 Feb maybe taking off, left 2 - 3 days to work.

Week 3 ( 15 - 21 Feb )--> Happy Chinese New Year.

Week 4 ( 22 - 28 Feb )--> Office reopen on 24 Feb( Wed ), left 3 days to work.

Total days need to work on this month---->12 - 13 days
Total days worked in this month----------> 7 days
Total days haven't worked in this month ---> 5 - 6 days

Really starting to feel sick of this job. The main thing that make me feel sick wasn't the task or difficulties I faced on my work, is the complicated relations. I think my job in the office will be a lot more easier if i have no any relatives, or any special relations with the people n the office.

Here's some introduction about this relations. Its quite complicated. My boss, is my uncle ( dad's 4th brother ). Everyday, my aunty ( dad's 2th sister ) fetch me working. Both of them not that like each other.

Examples of some problem I faced recently, and I really hate it. My uncle asked me to asked my dad when does him feel free to come over my uncle's office to do some banking's stuffs. So, after work, when I reached home, I passed the message to my dad. My dad told me he was free on 14 of Feb. Obviously, 14 of Feb is Chinese New Year. Okay, never mind. A few days later, my uncle ask me when can my dad come over to his office, and i told him, my dad says on 14 of Feb he is free, and you all know what happens next. I don't see the need to mention what happened.

THE MAIN THING --> Why can't my dad straight away called my uncle and why can't my uncle straight away called my dad and discuss with him the date? Why need me to pass the message? Its really troublesome to be the middle man like this, and I am going to be a middle man for almost 2 months. I really had enough of it. I think I'm gonna quit this job on March.
I'm really sick of this job deeply.

Ask me out for tea if you want to listen more of these 'interesting' stories. I got plenty of it.

All contents are based on true life stories. Thanks for reading.

《静思语》

《静思语》

有求即多苦，
如一味的要求，
只为自己招来无穷苦恼。

Back to Basics is the Best.

Chinese New Year coming soon , I had bought some new clothing, and I'm sure many of us did it well too.

In this Chinese New Year, normally for tops, I prefer normal t-shirts, mostly in white. I wanna to try something new. I bought a few shirt that looks quite nice, and I liked it too. It wasn't my style, but I still bought it, just because I wanted to trying new things. It looks good on me when I'm in the fitting room before I bought it.

However, recently when I was trying it again in my house, because going out for dad's office's reunion dinner. I just don't know what the hell goes wrong. It just keep looks very weird.

In the end, I went to the reunion dinner with a normal white t-shirt with some graphics on it with a long pants and sports shoe. Just as usual. Only one thing special this time, I wore a diamond ear ring.

Lessons Learned
You are what you are. There is no need to be, or try to be special, because yourself is special enough. Just be yourself.

Thanks for reading. there will be more new posts soon.

No comment on this...

My salary slip:

( Click on the image to have a zoomed view. )

Working period:
Monday - Friday,
9.00am - 7.30pm.

Average pay - 3 Ringgit and Cents 81 Only per hour.

Any one having lower pay then me, and longer working period then me, please let me know. If there is really that someone.

《静思语》

《静思语》

去贪就简，
可使心灵得到，
无比的宁静与解脱。

Road could not be taken...

A very familiar title. But, still something different. Have a look if you feel free.

Spm had over for some time. Everyone start doing their own thing, some starting to take part time jobs, some going to college, hanging around with friends, etc etc, and starting to chose their own road soon.

Right after Spm, I had a few choices and some plans in my mind.

Here's where the story started.

My first planning is to take Form 6 and going for local university, and before i get my Spm results, i planning to work at a tuition center. I think my plan was not bad, and i can continue to walk on my road. But something happen... Too many things happened.

Around the end of December 09, the clerk in my uncle's office just fired her boss off. And one day, while I was having dinner with my family, including those uncles and aunts. And someone asked my uncle: "Last time you brought him traveling at other country before right? Your office is lack of a clerk right? Why don't you ask your nephew to take the job temperately. " And then, my uncle asked me to start working at his office on January. What the...

I tried to tell him, I had already interview for a job in a tuition center, but he said what can i learn in a tuition center? Nothing... And he called me to work there and learn to use Microsoft Excel and all those computer stuffs. So, i left no choice but to accept it, and leave the road that could not be taken.

As time passed by, I had been working at there for a month. Still not quite use to it. Many of those data are very complicated. I still tried my best to finish every one of my assessments and worksheets. I had to spend half of the day facing computer every Monday to Friday.

Just because he brought me traveling for a few times, does this means I had to help him when ever he needs? Why can't I chose the thing I wanted to do for the moment? I had been studying more then 12 years on the things which I am not that interested in. And now still ... fine. Now 1 month had passed, and I already can use Microsoft Excel well.
So, do I still need to do this job?

Recently, he also asked me, what I planning to study in future. I told him i wanted to take Form 6. And he said what for take Form 6? What for to waste the time to do Form 6. He can sponsor me to take college. But, I'm worried that, will there be a chance that in the future, someone saying this to me: your uncle sponsored so much on your studies, now's the time you help him back in his business. Many people will think that, why not? The business is already there, I just have to keep it running. The main thing is, I will be tied up forever. I will had to work for him forever no matter what happened. And if I didn't worked for him, there will be thousands of finger pointing on me.

So, I'm still quite confused now. Not sure which road is best for me yet.

Moral of The Story
Nothing is free. There is always a price of the thing you get. So, think wise before you accept it.

Once again, thanks for reading. Have a nice day.